The week before Christmas (2013) and all through my house...
... not a creature would let me take their picture, not even a mouse.
A few years ago I was looking for an outlet for my frustrations. Part of it was me needing something to call my own, and part of it was me crawling out of my skin because I hadn't done anything creative in forever. So I took to the internet (as any sane person would do, obviously), and bought myself a camera.
This was met with much criticism from people in previous lives, which happens any time you step out of comfort zones people have put you in. I went outside, I took lots of pictures of plants, and a ton of pictures of the kids. Nothing fancy, just wanted something I could learn about while also getting some awesome shots of Amelia being an insane toddler on the verge of becoming a big sister.
Then she became a big sister, and now I had TWO subjects at my disposal to play paparazzi with, only Amelia was fast enough to dodge me if she really wanted (also, like... I didn't understand shutter speed so there's that...).
That holiday season (2013) I had this awesome (and super original! lol) idea about doing Christmas photos for them. I set up a little set up in my basement studio, draped christmas lights up on my wall, bought some awesome and ornate xmas ornaments for Iggy to hold and some ribbons for Amelia to delight in, I got a beautiful throw blanket for the floor to add texture (you have seen this fabric highlighted in some more PG-13 images... ;) ). I was prepped. I was ready. I had sat in on some kids Christmas portraits before so I knew not to expect perfection, but I thought "hey, at least it will be authentic".
Amelia wanted NO part. In fact she wouldn't even come downstairs to look at my little set that I was oh so proud of. She pouted and yelled at me and, if I remember correctly, stormed her two year old self upstairs.
Iggy, however, was only 6 months old. He could not run. He could not escape my villainous plan to photograph him for the holidays. So I found his little red sweater and his green cloth diaper and said to Helene, "hey, I'm stealing the baby, I'll be back in about 20." I am pretty sure she just rolled her eyes at me. But I was a woman on a mission. I WILL DO THIS.
He, much to my dismay, also had no real interest. He didn't get to come into my room very often so it was ALL new to him down here. You could see it in his face that he just wanted to roam. BUT NO, TINY HUMAN. You're in "my house" now, sir! So I flickered the christmas lights on and off hoping that would entice him onto the soft white throw, because I knew if it wasn't his decision there'd be water works (its still sort of that way and he is 3 and a half haha). And while sometimes those kind of pictures are cute, we have enough of them to go around, and I wanted something a little more classically cute.
So, on borrowed time, I handed him some of the Christmas-y props I had and... basically became a spray and pray photographer. Because "ONE of those 200 shots I took in a 20 minute period will work... I hope".
Well, I was right. And there were actually a few images from this little mini session that I was rather proud of. He was calm enough for me to get the shots, the look he is giving me is one he gave me often. Its the "what the what is life" look. Bewildered, almost. And it wasn't by accident really. I had planned this out to some extent; I was still very happy with how my little vision had manifested.
Now, this isn't straight out of camera, obviously. But I think that its beautiful. And its probably one of my first memories as a hobbyist where I thought to myself "I love this. This is beautiful. This has meaning. And I helped create it."
In all this Christmas chaos, my mind somehow comes back to this picture, and those 20 minutes where I felt a little spark. A light, even if small, had ignited within me. It was the start of something. Its a warmth that gets recreated every time I pick up the camera. And it feels to me like the magic you see in kids eyes when they see santa, or the christmas lights as you drive through neighborhoods at night time. Its rare that adults can feel that sense of wonder. And in that moment, I had it. Its nice to be reminded that it can exist in adulthood.
So in blogging about this image, I realized that its a little self serving to post this. Because the intent was to tell a silly Christmas memory about trying to chase down two tired and grumpy tiny hoomans and convincing them to be cheery, and how it was almost an epic fail. But as I started writing this I found there was a bigger story, and that was about remembering the magic as a "grown up" and that it is all around us .
The very labored point here is, that inspiration and light bulb moments come in many ways and forms, and sometimes incredibly unexpected, and even sometimes when you don't even want them to. So if/when it happens to you, don't shy away because its not what you anticipated; its easy to shove those feelings aside in favor of to do lists and obligations that weigh on us as "adulty adults", but remember, especially this time of year, its okay to embrace a little moment or two of joy. And ya never know, you might even create a family heirloom that gets cherished and loved by many. <3
A few years ago I was looking for an outlet for my frustrations. Part of it was me needing something to call my own, and part of it was me crawling out of my skin because I hadn't done anything creative in forever. So I took to the internet (as any sane person would do, obviously), and bought myself a camera.
This was met with much criticism from people in previous lives, which happens any time you step out of comfort zones people have put you in. I went outside, I took lots of pictures of plants, and a ton of pictures of the kids. Nothing fancy, just wanted something I could learn about while also getting some awesome shots of Amelia being an insane toddler on the verge of becoming a big sister.
Then she became a big sister, and now I had TWO subjects at my disposal to play paparazzi with, only Amelia was fast enough to dodge me if she really wanted (also, like... I didn't understand shutter speed so there's that...).
That holiday season (2013) I had this awesome (and super original! lol) idea about doing Christmas photos for them. I set up a little set up in my basement studio, draped christmas lights up on my wall, bought some awesome and ornate xmas ornaments for Iggy to hold and some ribbons for Amelia to delight in, I got a beautiful throw blanket for the floor to add texture (you have seen this fabric highlighted in some more PG-13 images... ;) ). I was prepped. I was ready. I had sat in on some kids Christmas portraits before so I knew not to expect perfection, but I thought "hey, at least it will be authentic".Amelia wanted NO part. In fact she wouldn't even come downstairs to look at my little set that I was oh so proud of. She pouted and yelled at me and, if I remember correctly, stormed her two year old self upstairs.
Iggy, however, was only 6 months old. He could not run. He could not escape my villainous plan to photograph him for the holidays. So I found his little red sweater and his green cloth diaper and said to Helene, "hey, I'm stealing the baby, I'll be back in about 20." I am pretty sure she just rolled her eyes at me. But I was a woman on a mission. I WILL DO THIS.
He, much to my dismay, also had no real interest. He didn't get to come into my room very often so it was ALL new to him down here. You could see it in his face that he just wanted to roam. BUT NO, TINY HUMAN. You're in "my house" now, sir! So I flickered the christmas lights on and off hoping that would entice him onto the soft white throw, because I knew if it wasn't his decision there'd be water works (its still sort of that way and he is 3 and a half haha). And while sometimes those kind of pictures are cute, we have enough of them to go around, and I wanted something a little more classically cute.
So, on borrowed time, I handed him some of the Christmas-y props I had and... basically became a spray and pray photographer. Because "ONE of those 200 shots I took in a 20 minute period will work... I hope".
Well, I was right. And there were actually a few images from this little mini session that I was rather proud of. He was calm enough for me to get the shots, the look he is giving me is one he gave me often. Its the "what the what is life" look. Bewildered, almost. And it wasn't by accident really. I had planned this out to some extent; I was still very happy with how my little vision had manifested.
Now, this isn't straight out of camera, obviously. But I think that its beautiful. And its probably one of my first memories as a hobbyist where I thought to myself "I love this. This is beautiful. This has meaning. And I helped create it."
In all this Christmas chaos, my mind somehow comes back to this picture, and those 20 minutes where I felt a little spark. A light, even if small, had ignited within me. It was the start of something. Its a warmth that gets recreated every time I pick up the camera. And it feels to me like the magic you see in kids eyes when they see santa, or the christmas lights as you drive through neighborhoods at night time. Its rare that adults can feel that sense of wonder. And in that moment, I had it. Its nice to be reminded that it can exist in adulthood.
So in blogging about this image, I realized that its a little self serving to post this. Because the intent was to tell a silly Christmas memory about trying to chase down two tired and grumpy tiny hoomans and convincing them to be cheery, and how it was almost an epic fail. But as I started writing this I found there was a bigger story, and that was about remembering the magic as a "grown up" and that it is all around us .
The very labored point here is, that inspiration and light bulb moments come in many ways and forms, and sometimes incredibly unexpected, and even sometimes when you don't even want them to. So if/when it happens to you, don't shy away because its not what you anticipated; its easy to shove those feelings aside in favor of to do lists and obligations that weigh on us as "adulty adults", but remember, especially this time of year, its okay to embrace a little moment or two of joy. And ya never know, you might even create a family heirloom that gets cherished and loved by many. <3
plus... ohemgee. You guys. This was Iggy's first Christmas. THIS IS IAN. I can't handle this. How cute is he?!? And was he EVER that small? I want to squish him with all of my hugs!! And if he wasn't in school right now, I would totally be loving up on that little man right now.
Love you buddy. You're my little boyfriend man. <3
*Martha (aka Mflave) is a photographer for Mflave Photography, a portrait photography studio based out of Maryland, serving PA, MD and VA, dedicated to giving a luxurious and intimate boudoir experience* (and she also photographs the occasional baby ;) )
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