"Its raining men...
Okay no its not. But it IS raining. SIDEWAYS. And also inside my room... but thats a whole other thing.
I've been exceptionally busy the past two weeks. In the best way possible. Nothing super special...
Okay thats not entirely true. Okay its not really true at all. Its been a lot of fun and special things. I got to spend a weekend in Waldorf and go the beach on a big boat with some pretty nifty people, and this past weekend I had the pleasure of playing hostess to a different group of awesome people. Its been all good lately. I've really found a great balance between Flave time, and people time, and nanny time, and personal life time and fun time. Its been... really great. I'm not going to lie. :)
I also joined in on a month long photography project. I went into it with not real expectations or plans other than I wanted to get better, and I wanted to try some new things out. Serving no master other than myself (please re read that statement over and over and over and over. This is, and always has been... about me and my wnats. No one else.)
The framework of this challenge was to take a picture every day based on whatever the theme of that day is. I knew that I would have trouble with adhering to the "every day" rule. Just because I knew I'd be traveling a bit, pulling me away from posting as regularly as the challenge asked of me. And looking at the list, I knew that there would be some challenges that were beyond my knowledge at the present time... which means it would require a little more effort and research and trial and error (aka time) until I was able to really nail down what I was trying to capture.
The thing is, I've found that this little project has done wonders for me. I've always been project oriented. Having concrete solid goals has always been something that has motivated me, but this whole experience has not only been something to look forward to at the end of the day, but its also eased a lot of my anxiety and given me some focus. Its been really nice. And a TON of fun.
Some of the challenges have been: Movement, dreams, shadow (this one started a whole firestorm on the internet that I did NOT see coming, but honestly, it was over as quickly as is started and most of the feedback was positive and supportive. thankfully), detail, self portrait, calm/stillness, strength, color, memory, fear, nature, window, reflection, love, favorite word, time, fun, comfort, ordinary, flight, broken, special, kindness, light... the list goes on and on. And while I haven't been posting every day, I have been using my camera every day. Which, was the goal.
I'm learning. I'm a newbie. I'm a hobbyist. I'm an amateur at best. I've never claimed to be a savant, or tried to proclaim myself as anything other than someone experimenting with a new hobby. I want to expand my knowledge, and my "portfolio" (if you can even call it that). I've taken classes, done a lot of research, asked a lot of questions of people further along in their journey... and its been a real eye opener and... honestly, its humbled me a bit. But in a really fabulous way. I've found myself opening up to people and experiences in a way that I haven't done since my time at drum corps. And its been really wonderful. I'll talk more about that once this is all over, but for now I'll just say, I'm actually really enjoying the learning process.
Sometimes I suck. A lot. And I get really mad about it because I cannot quite figure out where I went wrong. And thats hard. So I comb through the images, look at the settings, talk to friends, read articles online and then go "oh... okay. Well, there's my fuck up. Lets go again...". And sometimes I feel really great about the final product, but I also find myself combing through those images, looking at the settings and talking to friends and read articles online because I want to get to a place where, even if a remain a hobbyist forever, that I'm getting more images I'm proud of, intentionally and at a faster rate... and less happy accidents (although those are fun too). I've been a part of many organizations where the idea is to be perfect. Or at least as perfect as one can be. I was a classically trained dancer, I was even in a professional dance company for a while. I also was a competitive musician, up until my mid-late twenties, and was a member and leader of a highly competitive drum corps. I've also taught dance classes, marching techniques, music groups (and individuals) and run indoor programs (I was way too busy all the time. Probably why I wanted to take a few years and just... nap from life). What all of those things have taught me... well, they've taught me two main things. One, is time management. You would not believe how much drum corps taught me that. I find myself using the kind of intentional focus and productivity in my every day life even as a nanny (ONE TRIP FROM THE CAR. ONE GOD DAMN TRIP.), and my training and background also taught me: don't practice until you get it right, practice until you cannot get it wrong.
I'm definitely still working on that in photography. And lets be honest, even the most proficient people in their craft, spend hours working on it. Professional musicians still practice, and athletes still train. Because there is no real end game there. You just keep getting better. "Aim not to be better than anyone else, but the you from last week (or day, or whatever)." (that adage was used at drum corps all too often in the Rich Hammond days.) (no, I'm not complaining) (WATER we doing?) (jokes)
And while I do aim to get better, and feel more confident about my camera-ing, I'm also very okay with being a newbie. Its a good place to be when you have so many opportunities to learn and grow. And I'm having a blast. Even on the days I know I suck, and I know I'm going to catch some less than stellar opinions. Its fun. I like learning. I like feeling creative. And it makes the days when I am successful feel really really great.
And really, shame on anyone who comes down on anyone for trying something new. Its hard to put yourself out there and put your art of any kind, or personal journey on display. "Be an encourager, there are too many critics out there already."
Plus, we all started at the same place: the beginning. Just at different times.
Anyway. One of the themes, as mentioned before was "Details". Last weekend I went down to Waldorf to help with the kids during an estate sale that Julie and Mike and the Leydons had put together. Most of the items there were a very large smattering of Kathy's (Mikes mother who passed away a few months ago) personal collection. Purses, jewelry, books, china... you name it, she had it. All name brand and in wonderful condition. I managed to find some realllllllly neat things that Julie told me I could bring home with me. A dress, some delicate necklasses, some neat bags. But one of my favorite discoveries was is this RIDICULOUSLY awesome purse. I'm not really great at being girly, but I just think this this is so amazingly wonderful. Its whimsy and eccentric and stunning (like me, amirite?). I was really excited about taking some pictures of it as a brag status, because its that beautiful... and I took the opportunity to use it as my "Details" challenge day.
I mean, look at this thing. Its entirely beaded, both sides!
In the corner of both sides of the purse is this beaded butterfly. Which is muted by comparison of the rest of the purse.
Fringe!
This is the bottom. I love the contrast!
Small beads leading and anchoring large textured ones.
Gorgeous.
Immaculate. :)
So, there ya have it. The most extravagant accessory I have ever owned! I'm dying to find an event to go to where I can show it off! But also, I have no issue with incorporating it in one of the first portrait shoots I have coming up, either ;) Like I said, I'm loving learning about camera-ing. I'm having so much fun!
Anyone know a guy that can, ya know... fix it? or something?
Go forth and be awesome,
~flave
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