"da da dada... da da dada
ELMO'S WORLD"
I've been wanting to blog for a few days now but I haven't really had anything new or different to report. Well, nothing I wanted to publicize anyway.
So, whats "new" with me? Or I guess, the better question would be "whats status quo with me?"... well FINE, I'll tell you... twist my arm why don't you. ;)
I've been quite a big shut in lately. A lot of that has to do with the fact that I am both license-less and carless... which, now also is compounded with the fact that Helene can't drive very far for very long because new baby Groves makes her body hurt in all the ways a body should not hurt. So I've been keeping myself busy with a lot of netflix, some cleaning, some online freebie classes and naps. And that got old... quick. So I took up yoga, which has sort of evolved into more of a cross-train kind of thing. I've been pretty diligent about keeping up with it, and I've noticed a difference. This makes Summer Martha very happy!
Amelia has another new nickname for me... I am pretty sure she's trying to say my name, but it sounds more like "notmomma". Which is totally fine, and totally hilarious. :) She's talking up a storm and kissing gross toddler kisses to all objects, animate or otherwise. Even when she's being a typical tyrant toddler, we're very much in love with that munchkin. We take her out on the porch on the sunny hot days, and have water play, which essentially means we get buckets of water and throw it on Ella. This pleases the munchkin AND the dog... plus it means that both me and momma get to go outside. Win.
I've been considering the idea of dabbling in photography. I am not sure if I mentioned that before. I'm not necessarily looking into starting a full fledged business or anything, I just want to see if its something I'd enjoy and be good at and I'll take it from there. And since so many of my friends are having kids, and getting engaged, and getting married, I'll have lots of opportunities in the coming months to play around. I'm a bit nervous about it for a lot of reasons... but the biggest one is learning the equipment. In the entire time I worked for the studio, I only really picked up the camera like maybe 10 times, and I never had the setting off the "little green square". I did promise a friend I'd take some hot pictures of her though, so I better stop being a little bitch about it and man the fuck up, right?
I'm ridiculously bored. I don't do well when I'm bored. I become either self destructive or depressed, which is why I think I'm working so hard on the working out and the online courses. I want to be more active both mentally and physically, and its so hard when I'm so limited right now. I'm working hard to combat the whole "idle hands are the devils playthings" mantra, because... God knows we don't need me making trouble where there isn't any. My social life has definitely taken a dive since football season ended, which is usually how it goes when I'm not marching drum corps. And I'm oddly okay with that right now, its allowing me to gather my footing and not get too distracted.
Actually, I should clarify... my social life has taken a bit of a dive since the boys deployed. Its not their fault by any means... we were just so focused on hanging out with them and partying and creating good times to send them off to, that we didn't think much beyond the actual deployment date. Although, I should say that after next weekend, there is something going on (or the possibility of something going on) every weekend for the next month or so... and then we are on baby watch 2013 <3 <3
Speaking of that, I'm super antsy to get down in the basement. I'm not ENTIRELY sure why. I think I just like the idea of starting something new and building it from the ground up. Its like... in a way, sort of satisfying my wanderlust a bit. Plus, I have too much crap for the space I'm in. I can downsize more if I needed to, and I totally would, gladly if I had too... but I don't. So... screw that. Yes, I DO need all of those shoes... okay? Ya never know when you're going to have to choose between the black strap-y stiletto or the black chunky heel, alright? #whitegirlproblems
Drum corps. Well... as the weather warms up, I feel myself craving beefy diddles and clean releases. Thats how it always is though when you take a year off. I don't feel a sense of loss in it this year like I have in the past but that is probably because the last time I took the year off, it just happened to be the year of "awesome" (sarcasm off)... and I really needed that support...
so I ended up hanging out at camp every weekend anyway. I don't really see that happening this year, barring an injury of someone in the line, which is not something I wish on any one. I do miss the action, and I do miss most of the people. And I'm not slamming the organization in any way. I just... it couldn't be in the cards for me this winter. And its really that simple.
Speaking of that, sort of... my DUI stuff. Everything is like... its like a constant ellipsis. I can get my license back now, which is great, I still have a LOT of money to pay PA, and I still have hours of community service to do. But, I'm slowly chipping away at the obligation there. Which is good, cuz its been weighing on me.
So, whats "new" with me? Or I guess, the better question would be "whats status quo with me?"... well FINE, I'll tell you... twist my arm why don't you. ;)
I've been quite a big shut in lately. A lot of that has to do with the fact that I am both license-less and carless... which, now also is compounded with the fact that Helene can't drive very far for very long because new baby Groves makes her body hurt in all the ways a body should not hurt. So I've been keeping myself busy with a lot of netflix, some cleaning, some online freebie classes and naps. And that got old... quick. So I took up yoga, which has sort of evolved into more of a cross-train kind of thing. I've been pretty diligent about keeping up with it, and I've noticed a difference. This makes Summer Martha very happy!
Amelia has another new nickname for me... I am pretty sure she's trying to say my name, but it sounds more like "notmomma". Which is totally fine, and totally hilarious. :) She's talking up a storm and kissing gross toddler kisses to all objects, animate or otherwise. Even when she's being a typical tyrant toddler, we're very much in love with that munchkin. We take her out on the porch on the sunny hot days, and have water play, which essentially means we get buckets of water and throw it on Ella. This pleases the munchkin AND the dog... plus it means that both me and momma get to go outside. Win.
I've been considering the idea of dabbling in photography. I am not sure if I mentioned that before. I'm not necessarily looking into starting a full fledged business or anything, I just want to see if its something I'd enjoy and be good at and I'll take it from there. And since so many of my friends are having kids, and getting engaged, and getting married, I'll have lots of opportunities in the coming months to play around. I'm a bit nervous about it for a lot of reasons... but the biggest one is learning the equipment. In the entire time I worked for the studio, I only really picked up the camera like maybe 10 times, and I never had the setting off the "little green square". I did promise a friend I'd take some hot pictures of her though, so I better stop being a little bitch about it and man the fuck up, right?
I'm ridiculously bored. I don't do well when I'm bored. I become either self destructive or depressed, which is why I think I'm working so hard on the working out and the online courses. I want to be more active both mentally and physically, and its so hard when I'm so limited right now. I'm working hard to combat the whole "idle hands are the devils playthings" mantra, because... God knows we don't need me making trouble where there isn't any. My social life has definitely taken a dive since football season ended, which is usually how it goes when I'm not marching drum corps. And I'm oddly okay with that right now, its allowing me to gather my footing and not get too distracted.
Actually, I should clarify... my social life has taken a bit of a dive since the boys deployed. Its not their fault by any means... we were just so focused on hanging out with them and partying and creating good times to send them off to, that we didn't think much beyond the actual deployment date. Although, I should say that after next weekend, there is something going on (or the possibility of something going on) every weekend for the next month or so... and then we are on baby watch 2013 <3 <3
Speaking of that, I'm super antsy to get down in the basement. I'm not ENTIRELY sure why. I think I just like the idea of starting something new and building it from the ground up. Its like... in a way, sort of satisfying my wanderlust a bit. Plus, I have too much crap for the space I'm in. I can downsize more if I needed to, and I totally would, gladly if I had too... but I don't. So... screw that. Yes, I DO need all of those shoes... okay? Ya never know when you're going to have to choose between the black strap-y stiletto or the black chunky heel, alright? #whitegirlproblems
Drum corps. Well... as the weather warms up, I feel myself craving beefy diddles and clean releases. Thats how it always is though when you take a year off. I don't feel a sense of loss in it this year like I have in the past but that is probably because the last time I took the year off, it just happened to be the year of "awesome" (sarcasm off)... and I really needed that support...
so I ended up hanging out at camp every weekend anyway. I don't really see that happening this year, barring an injury of someone in the line, which is not something I wish on any one. I do miss the action, and I do miss most of the people. And I'm not slamming the organization in any way. I just... it couldn't be in the cards for me this winter. And its really that simple.
Speaking of that, sort of... my DUI stuff. Everything is like... its like a constant ellipsis. I can get my license back now, which is great, I still have a LOT of money to pay PA, and I still have hours of community service to do. But, I'm slowly chipping away at the obligation there. Which is good, cuz its been weighing on me.
My personal life is... well you know me. Its anything but boring. And this time, I am pretty sure that its not my doing. (I just wrote an entire paragraph about my family and I and then deleted it. I figure that stuff isn't meant for all of the world to see... so if you wanna know the juicy details about that... ask. Or don't. Whatever. Its like a choose your own adventure book. Except that instead of adventure, you get to hear about how awesome my life is, if thats what you choose. CHOOSE WISELY YOUNG PADAWAN!)
I guess you could say that I'm dating, but if you ask me who... it would not be a simple answer. Which, oddly enough I'm very much alright with. I enjoy spending time with the people I spend my time with, and while I wish it could be more often, I value the time we do have. And I love seeing the little green notification go off, and that quick moment of excited anticipation to see who its from, hoping its from someone awesome (well all my friends are awesome... but still). And thats all I'm choosing to say about THAT here. :)
Oh did I tell you I got a new lap top? Yeah. I did. And its effing MAGICAL. I don't understand how to use more than, mmmm probably about 50% of it... but its pretttty. And I'm pretty sure that it has capabilities that far exceed mine... which scares me. Except that I can make coffee. And drink beer. And it can't do that because it doesn't have thumbs, or stomach... but I am pretty sure that it has a soul though.... so I try to be nice to my Magic Box (dirrrrrty), so that it treats me right (also dirrrty).
So, its been almost two years since I've been back in MD. I don't want to talk too deeply about that quite yet, because I am sure I will as the date approaches... but I did want to mention something thats sort of important to me and my life now because of it.
I used to consider myself a true bohemian in my way of life. Not a gypsy (although that sort of happened as a result), but I was among the "live, love, laugh. be passionate in all you do" crowd. And I still am for the most part. So when things happen both positive and negative, I'd just say "there is a reason for everything". People took that as me being cavalier about my past, which I guess... sure, it did seem that way, but really it was more me just... trying to make the best of a situation.
The past two years have been... ridiculous. Just absolutely ridiculous. I've thought about trying to go back and write it all out like a book and try sell it to a publisher. I'm 80% sure it would sell because it just seems so unbelievable. But I want to touch on the fact, that over the past year I have really begun to understand what it is I'm capable of, and what I'm not. And probably, just as important... what I could have handled better. I'm still figuring it out, and I'm definitely not trying to sound pretentious or all knowing or on a pedestal about it... but last year was just a big a pile of donkey dicks, and I wish not to repeat it. Exceptions being the first few months of the year, and Bucs, and a few other days within those 365 days. And while this year has not been a walk in a park (read: AT ALL), I am much calmer and rational in dealing with the nastiness in face of it all because I feel much more... stable. I don't want to use the word stronger, its over used. I just feel more... stable. And more capable. So, I guess we shall see what the world is going to offer me next, but I can say without a doubt... that I am not as afraid. And that I know that while I can't control whats going on around me, I can control me. And how I choose to step forward. And, thats enough.
Its allowing me to make better decisions as a whole, instead of excuses. And those decisions are coming from a place of "what do I want" rather than "what am I trying to avoid". Its a very different feeling.
Not a sermon... just a thought.
I wish today was 15 degrees warmer.
It also needs to be Sam Adams Summer Ale time now.
I also, would enjoy a good staff circle with Steph Stephalupogus.
Today Helenes parents came and visited with us. Despite the circumstances of their close location (funeral), I was more than excited to see them! I'm not sure I've seen either of them since Mike and Helenes wedding! I got to here a few cute stories about Hel when she was Amelias age, which is always a pleasure... but it was also very sweet to see how much in love they are. Smooches and butt smacks... its nice to see that in a couple thats been together so long. It was uplifting to me in so many ways. Seeing how supportive they are of each other really explains the Mahaney kids. <3
Aight, this blog is a little boring, but I wanted to update you people on my VERY important life.
go forth and be awesome.
and bring me rum.
xoxo,
~flave
I guess you could say that I'm dating, but if you ask me who... it would not be a simple answer. Which, oddly enough I'm very much alright with. I enjoy spending time with the people I spend my time with, and while I wish it could be more often, I value the time we do have. And I love seeing the little green notification go off, and that quick moment of excited anticipation to see who its from, hoping its from someone awesome (well all my friends are awesome... but still). And thats all I'm choosing to say about THAT here. :)
Oh did I tell you I got a new lap top? Yeah. I did. And its effing MAGICAL. I don't understand how to use more than, mmmm probably about 50% of it... but its pretttty. And I'm pretty sure that it has capabilities that far exceed mine... which scares me. Except that I can make coffee. And drink beer. And it can't do that because it doesn't have thumbs, or stomach... but I am pretty sure that it has a soul though.... so I try to be nice to my Magic Box (dirrrrrty), so that it treats me right (also dirrrty).
So, its been almost two years since I've been back in MD. I don't want to talk too deeply about that quite yet, because I am sure I will as the date approaches... but I did want to mention something thats sort of important to me and my life now because of it.
I used to consider myself a true bohemian in my way of life. Not a gypsy (although that sort of happened as a result), but I was among the "live, love, laugh. be passionate in all you do" crowd. And I still am for the most part. So when things happen both positive and negative, I'd just say "there is a reason for everything". People took that as me being cavalier about my past, which I guess... sure, it did seem that way, but really it was more me just... trying to make the best of a situation.
The past two years have been... ridiculous. Just absolutely ridiculous. I've thought about trying to go back and write it all out like a book and try sell it to a publisher. I'm 80% sure it would sell because it just seems so unbelievable. But I want to touch on the fact, that over the past year I have really begun to understand what it is I'm capable of, and what I'm not. And probably, just as important... what I could have handled better. I'm still figuring it out, and I'm definitely not trying to sound pretentious or all knowing or on a pedestal about it... but last year was just a big a pile of donkey dicks, and I wish not to repeat it. Exceptions being the first few months of the year, and Bucs, and a few other days within those 365 days. And while this year has not been a walk in a park (read: AT ALL), I am much calmer and rational in dealing with the nastiness in face of it all because I feel much more... stable. I don't want to use the word stronger, its over used. I just feel more... stable. And more capable. So, I guess we shall see what the world is going to offer me next, but I can say without a doubt... that I am not as afraid. And that I know that while I can't control whats going on around me, I can control me. And how I choose to step forward. And, thats enough.
Its allowing me to make better decisions as a whole, instead of excuses. And those decisions are coming from a place of "what do I want" rather than "what am I trying to avoid". Its a very different feeling.
Not a sermon... just a thought.
I wish today was 15 degrees warmer.
It also needs to be Sam Adams Summer Ale time now.
I also, would enjoy a good staff circle with Steph Stephalupogus.
Today Helenes parents came and visited with us. Despite the circumstances of their close location (funeral), I was more than excited to see them! I'm not sure I've seen either of them since Mike and Helenes wedding! I got to here a few cute stories about Hel when she was Amelias age, which is always a pleasure... but it was also very sweet to see how much in love they are. Smooches and butt smacks... its nice to see that in a couple thats been together so long. It was uplifting to me in so many ways. Seeing how supportive they are of each other really explains the Mahaney kids. <3
Aight, this blog is a little boring, but I wanted to update you people on my VERY important life.
go forth and be awesome.
and bring me rum.
xoxo,
~flave
Comments
Post a Comment