"I'll be up up and away,
... up, up and away. They gon' judge me anyway, so whatever." Kid Cudi
HI. HELLO. HOW ARE YA. So, this is the post that I started writing back in January. I went through it today, edited it to make the tenses make sense and all that. It wanders a lot, because this is a window into MY brain, so bare with me. It has a point. SPOILER ALERT:
I have a camera. And I am gonna (learn how to) use it!
wha? didn't we know this? *asks the peanut gallery*
Yes. You did. So let me back up here a little bit *rewinding tape sounds*
I just read over some of my "saved drafts" from this thing from about 18 months ago. Its funny how some things are totally identical (nursing a hurting heart, family problems, living situation, job experiences), and then other things are completely and entirely very different (nursing a different kind of heartbreak, different family problems, job experiences).
In previous editions of this here blog thing here, its been a lot of me soul searching. Which, I think is most blogs... its egocentricity tossed in there along with looking for a sense of community. But in incarnations of this in the past, I've been looking for some emotional back up. This was a place where I was trying to silence the bi-polar voices in my head during an already emotionally trying time. I found myself abandoning this catharsis once my life got busier, or I started to feel better, or life got a little more manageable. There were also a few times where I wanted to get my story out there when so many other talking heads were so quick to judge, or place puzzle pieces into the wrong puzzle and I felt that while I didn't want to defend myself necessarily, I might want to provide a little more insight into the perceived "bad girl" who just can't stop "fucking up" (their words, not mine).
There are some heavy topics that are weighing rather heavily, inescapably, violently, secretly, imposingly, heart-breakingly... that I'm sure I will wander in and out of as this version of this blog starts to evolve. My heart is aching for reasons that are apparently beyond explanation, and there are some life questions that will always need and inspire discussion. Although, guys... I hate to disappoint. If you're looking for the juicy deets about those things tonight, this isn't the place to go searching for them. Hey, jerks... I hear you groaning in the distance... knock it off. You'll have your time, silly gossips. In fact, you may have something to talk about after this post that might be more juicy than my love life, or my family life.
What is that, you ask? Uhh... me. ;) Nah just kidding. Or maybe not. I am not sure. Anyway... moving on.
I have this tendency, that I didn't know I had until I was a real girl, to go big or go home. And not in the dirty way (although....). What I mean by that, is that I like to jump in with both feet, entirely. Which, wasn't really a problem until my mid-twenties when that became harder. Because when you're in your mid to late twenties, jumping all in without any sort of plan leads to a lot of "winging it" which, can be fun... but... if it falls through, or you fail, or it just doesn't work out because of a case of the "whatthefucks", well then you're up shit creek with out a paddle. And starting over, over and over, can be fun... but its not exactly a way to build a life of stability. And it gets harder as you get older. Kind of, I mean, the fighter pilot quick thinking gets easier because practice makes perfect in that regard, but when you're older... you're tired. And you don't want to have to completely re-stratify your life FROM SCRATCH unless its of your own volition. And I don't mean just moving to a new place, or divorcing, or losing a job, death, and severing of family... I'm talking ALL of those things at one time (essentially). I'm over simplifying obviously... but what I'm saying is that in my case... the slate wasn't just wiped clean... I had to go and build a fucking chalkboard out of a paperclip and some bark and then whittle a crude knife to write on said "slate". Like MacGyver. And between 2009 and 2012 I did that 5 times. I'm not kidding. I'm the MacGyver of life. I figure it out. I had to.
But... I was so psyched to have a 2 year nap from all the little messes that I was dealing with and just focus on being in one physical place, with one physical goal (don't kill the children. don't kill the children), no travel involved unless it was just... for fun. But since I've had a nap I now want to FIRE ZE MISSILES (if you do not get this reference, google that shit).
I've been revving up a little slowly. It seems a little coincidental that this feeling of fire sort of kicked into high gear right before the New Year, but its been a long time coming. I've been slowly tying up some loose ends, taking some more chances one by one and really starting to envision some goals (financial, professional, physical). Its not that I wasn't dreaming before, but I was feeling so happy to just be in one place, that I was really okay with hanging out for a while in that place. But its time to take some chances.
Anyway, the thing that trips me up a lot, is this feeling that I have to have some sort of iron clad plan and outline and thesis and first draft of a thing, before I can really START a thing. And thats just not true. I mean, I've known that's not true for a while, but after flying by the seat of my pants for years it just seemed like a nice little cover: "oh, I am just waiting on things to slow down at home so I can map this and that out". What? No. Dummy. The time is now. I mean, yes its a good idea to have an idea about what you're doing... but it doesn't need to be written in ink on a scroll, locked in a treasure chest,, in some government locker, protected by a four big dudes and retina scan to access it. It could just be like "hey, I'd really like to go do this thing. Oh I don't have all the things I need to do this thing? Okay... lets figure out the thing anyway, and we'll adjust the thing as we go." I'm speaking vaguely, but its still an accurate explanation.
So lets get down to really WHY I decided to blog today and maybe some of this will come full circle. I post on facebook a lot. Its not something I'm super proud of, but its also not something I'm NOT proud of. I'm essentially a stay at home mom. I'm a co-parent. I am home, by myself all day with two kids (21 mos and 3 years), a dog, and three cats... and no car to even escape to the outside world if I wanted. And also its too cold to life, so I am not going outside unless there's a reason for me to leave the confines of these four walls. But anyway, I fit the typical stay at home mom demographic in terms of social networking. ITS RIGHT THERE. And its my only window to the world of people who... aren't me, the two kids, the dog or the 3 cats. I don't consider myself a lonely person by any means, but social media is an outlet to find company, commiseration, comfort and community, and I won't be ashamed of that.
But that having been said, its not the only outlet that I have, and instead of posting 400 things about every little idea I have, I could consolidate some of it into ONE blog post. OR this could suffice as a way to connect the dots from one post to another during my year of "FUCK YES" (if you missed what thats about, stay tuned. I will explain that in Flave detail in a future spot).
I also have an interesting writing style. I'm not particularly flowery... but I am wordy. But I can also be concise. So... yeah... this will be an interesting way to see, how I start choosing to express my thoughts after some practice. I'm personally a fan of the "inner monologue" style of writing, especially when it comes to blogs like this particular post. Because in this particular instance, I am allowing you to open the door to the fun-house that is my brain, so it only makes sense to write it out the way I think it (and sometimes a little warped like those mirror mazes). Although I'm sure that when I'm trying to be more full of impact or sentimental, I will probably choose my words to be a little more "professional" and less "pedestrian". But the truth is, I'd rather talk to a pedestrian who has honesty and sincerity in their words than someone who constantly spouts off bullshit flowery soapbox-y monologues with buzz words only for effect, with no guts or heart. There are so many people out there concerned with boxing themselves into some marketable version who they think they should be. I call them the "Plastic Prophets." Its so that people will listen... but really, all you have to do is just speak with a genuine voice. No need to convince people to listen, if you're earnest, people will listen anyway. There are millions of blogs and vlogs out there that prove that. Shed the mask, people.
(okay, i get soap box-y too. see last paragraph... haha we're all hypocrites from time to time, I suppose)
Anyway, I'm sure my inner voice will change with my mood, and perhaps I too will have the moments where I feel the need to "preach" if you will. In fact I'm sure of it. But for me this will be more about showing all facets of me. The brawn and the beauty, the clever and the crazy, the strong and the soft. This will not be about boxing me in to market to the world, this will be about expanding the limits of the box I already found myself in to SHOW the world, take it or leave it.
okay enough of that... and bring it back to the beginning (take that, rewind it back mflave got beat that make your booty go smack)
So, lets get down to brass tacks and stop the rambling. I bought this camera device a few years ago. Its like super middle grade equipment, nothing ginormous or overly impressive, but I like it. And I heard a rumor of some kind... that when you take it out of its camera bag, you can pick it up and this camera device actually can be used as a camera to take pictures or some shit. I KNOW RIGHT? I was shocked too! I used it a lot when I first got it, amazed that this camera, could be a camera. ;) Then I took a break-y poo from the idea of camera-ing because while I had a lot of people in my corner. there were a select few who were kind enough to basically be anything but kind. Not of the images themselves, but of me. And while I don't really care what people think generally, I was also in no mood to do battle with people who were hell bent on misunderstanding my intentions. So I took a break. But, soon enough, I brought this camera thingy ma-jigger back out of its padded home... probably about once a week since July. Just to play around, see if it still did the whole "be a camera" thing (it does, btw). Some were pictures of my doggy, or the kids, I even second shot a family shoot with a friend, two bridal showers, and a lot of holiday fun. I didn't really post much of it because I wasn't trying to use it to market anything, I just wanted to camera, and so I camera'd. And I liked camera-ing.
And then a few weeks ago, my neighbor came over to see if her daughter was still cool to hang at the house (the daughter had already been here an hour), and as I gave our neighbor a tour of the house, I took her down to my little cave in the basement and showed her around. Turns out the awesome red chairs I found in the street on bulk trash day were actually theirs! I explained to her that I had swiped them with the intention of using them for a camera thing that never happened. Oddly enough my camera was sitting on the bed and before I knew it she was asking me to take pictures of her, her husband and her (i think) three kids... and I said yes.
It wasn't until about 10 minutes after she left when I had realized what I had done. And I thought to myself "well shit, that was unexpected...". And instead of trying to figure out a way out of it, I was thinking about how to make it happen. Total change of mindset from two years ago.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to take over the world my my camera-ing, but I'm excited about the idea of having a creative outlet. I'm excited that its going to allow me to get to know some more people. I'm excited about having something to look forward to. And the fact that I don't have some giant concrete business plan doesn't entirely make me want to run away screaming, is a sign that I'm ready to take on whatever comes my way.
Maybe I've healed from some of the past hurt enough to move forward (although I'd hate to think I'm so soft that it took me THIS long to recover from something that is so far removed from my life now...), or maybe I'm just happy where I am and am looking to add more of that happy, or maybe I'm an insane person who does silly things sometimes. I don't know. Maybe yes to all those things! I'd like to think its just because I want to add more fun and more happy and more "fuck yes" (or the less vulgar vesion 'why not?') to my life.
Life's hard. Lifes been pretty admittedly (and tragically) upsetting for me over the past few years. I don't play victim. And I'm certainly not blaming the gods or fate or whatever, but while some of it I set myself up for... some of it I definitely didn't. But I guess, what I'm realizing is... that life is hard, but its also short. This past year has shown me that.
I know that I had mentioned this idea before in a previous post and made a big deal about it. Well no, I didn't make a big deal about it, but it was made into a big deal. And that was partially my fault... that was me getting ahead of myself during a time where I couldn't even stand still long enough to drink a glass of water. But now?
Something has happened. Something is different. I feel different. And maybe this camera thing will be a thing, or maybe it will be nothing... but the idea of it, is definitely SOMEthing, and its saying something that I've even started to move forward with it (christ I already took a few classes, have had session requests, and am in the process of editing an event I did for an album). And its really saying something that I'm coming out of the closet to the big bad world with my "intentions", but also coming out to the big bad world with a new outlook on myself and life and everything. And I am looking forward to sharing that and experiencing that with others, camera in hand.
(OH and did I mention? that I have a group of like minded photographers that are part of my life? Looking at you, Banana, KK, Jo and Rico. Its nice to have people that are interested in th same things as you creatively. Especially when they are of all skill levels and all different stages in their careers. How lucky am I that we have found each other? Its been great during all these snow days to get online and chat or skype, or go out and shoot and then critique eachother... even if its just for funzies.)
Who knows? Maybe I will stick with it for life, maybe it will be a stepping stone to something else. But either way, it should be fun. And who doesn't like fun.
(As an aside: it also feels really good to know that this fire I have in me right now, is in no way a result of my bi-polar. Because I do I ache. I hurt. I'm tired. I'm stumped. I'm devastated (sometimes). But in the midst of all of that and even separately from that, I feel inspired. And I have for a while. Love will do that. Love inspires so much emotion and passion in all of us. So does the loss of it. Maybe I'm just one of the lucky people who draws positive energy from both situations. Well, right now anyway.. stay tuned.)
So this is basically a post saying, that I am in the "business" of taking pictures. And by that I mean, I have a camera that I'd like to get more use out of, that I'd like to get to know, and that I'd like to take some time to make friends with. And so this is me saying out loud that you're going to be hearing a lot more about it in the future. You may like what I do, you may like me, you may hate what I do, you may hate me. The point is, is that its happening. And lets me honest, if my heart is really into something... the haters are going to be upset. So... ready, go!
Speaking of future... SPOILER ALERT: I will be presenting something about an open call in the near future. so, hold on to your butts (literally, I mean I might ask you to do that... ;) )
Thanks for reading where my brainspace is. My brainspace appreciates it. The next post will be less "back story" and more thought provoking... well, thats the plan anyway. :)
Keep on keepin on and go forth and be awesome,
smooches
~flave
HI. HELLO. HOW ARE YA. So, this is the post that I started writing back in January. I went through it today, edited it to make the tenses make sense and all that. It wanders a lot, because this is a window into MY brain, so bare with me. It has a point. SPOILER ALERT:
I have a camera. And I am gonna (learn how to) use it!
wha? didn't we know this? *asks the peanut gallery*
Yes. You did. So let me back up here a little bit *rewinding tape sounds*
I just read over some of my "saved drafts" from this thing from about 18 months ago. Its funny how some things are totally identical (nursing a hurting heart, family problems, living situation, job experiences), and then other things are completely and entirely very different (nursing a different kind of heartbreak, different family problems, job experiences).
In previous editions of this here blog thing here, its been a lot of me soul searching. Which, I think is most blogs... its egocentricity tossed in there along with looking for a sense of community. But in incarnations of this in the past, I've been looking for some emotional back up. This was a place where I was trying to silence the bi-polar voices in my head during an already emotionally trying time. I found myself abandoning this catharsis once my life got busier, or I started to feel better, or life got a little more manageable. There were also a few times where I wanted to get my story out there when so many other talking heads were so quick to judge, or place puzzle pieces into the wrong puzzle and I felt that while I didn't want to defend myself necessarily, I might want to provide a little more insight into the perceived "bad girl" who just can't stop "fucking up" (their words, not mine).
There are some heavy topics that are weighing rather heavily, inescapably, violently, secretly, imposingly, heart-breakingly... that I'm sure I will wander in and out of as this version of this blog starts to evolve. My heart is aching for reasons that are apparently beyond explanation, and there are some life questions that will always need and inspire discussion. Although, guys... I hate to disappoint. If you're looking for the juicy deets about those things tonight, this isn't the place to go searching for them. Hey, jerks... I hear you groaning in the distance... knock it off. You'll have your time, silly gossips. In fact, you may have something to talk about after this post that might be more juicy than my love life, or my family life.
What is that, you ask? Uhh... me. ;) Nah just kidding. Or maybe not. I am not sure. Anyway... moving on.
I have this tendency, that I didn't know I had until I was a real girl, to go big or go home. And not in the dirty way (although....). What I mean by that, is that I like to jump in with both feet, entirely. Which, wasn't really a problem until my mid-twenties when that became harder. Because when you're in your mid to late twenties, jumping all in without any sort of plan leads to a lot of "winging it" which, can be fun... but... if it falls through, or you fail, or it just doesn't work out because of a case of the "whatthefucks", well then you're up shit creek with out a paddle. And starting over, over and over, can be fun... but its not exactly a way to build a life of stability. And it gets harder as you get older. Kind of, I mean, the fighter pilot quick thinking gets easier because practice makes perfect in that regard, but when you're older... you're tired. And you don't want to have to completely re-stratify your life FROM SCRATCH unless its of your own volition. And I don't mean just moving to a new place, or divorcing, or losing a job, death, and severing of family... I'm talking ALL of those things at one time (essentially). I'm over simplifying obviously... but what I'm saying is that in my case... the slate wasn't just wiped clean... I had to go and build a fucking chalkboard out of a paperclip and some bark and then whittle a crude knife to write on said "slate". Like MacGyver. And between 2009 and 2012 I did that 5 times. I'm not kidding. I'm the MacGyver of life. I figure it out. I had to.
But... I was so psyched to have a 2 year nap from all the little messes that I was dealing with and just focus on being in one physical place, with one physical goal (don't kill the children. don't kill the children), no travel involved unless it was just... for fun. But since I've had a nap I now want to FIRE ZE MISSILES (if you do not get this reference, google that shit).
I've been revving up a little slowly. It seems a little coincidental that this feeling of fire sort of kicked into high gear right before the New Year, but its been a long time coming. I've been slowly tying up some loose ends, taking some more chances one by one and really starting to envision some goals (financial, professional, physical). Its not that I wasn't dreaming before, but I was feeling so happy to just be in one place, that I was really okay with hanging out for a while in that place. But its time to take some chances.
Anyway, the thing that trips me up a lot, is this feeling that I have to have some sort of iron clad plan and outline and thesis and first draft of a thing, before I can really START a thing. And thats just not true. I mean, I've known that's not true for a while, but after flying by the seat of my pants for years it just seemed like a nice little cover: "oh, I am just waiting on things to slow down at home so I can map this and that out". What? No. Dummy. The time is now. I mean, yes its a good idea to have an idea about what you're doing... but it doesn't need to be written in ink on a scroll, locked in a treasure chest,, in some government locker, protected by a four big dudes and retina scan to access it. It could just be like "hey, I'd really like to go do this thing. Oh I don't have all the things I need to do this thing? Okay... lets figure out the thing anyway, and we'll adjust the thing as we go." I'm speaking vaguely, but its still an accurate explanation.
So lets get down to really WHY I decided to blog today and maybe some of this will come full circle. I post on facebook a lot. Its not something I'm super proud of, but its also not something I'm NOT proud of. I'm essentially a stay at home mom. I'm a co-parent. I am home, by myself all day with two kids (21 mos and 3 years), a dog, and three cats... and no car to even escape to the outside world if I wanted. And also its too cold to life, so I am not going outside unless there's a reason for me to leave the confines of these four walls. But anyway, I fit the typical stay at home mom demographic in terms of social networking. ITS RIGHT THERE. And its my only window to the world of people who... aren't me, the two kids, the dog or the 3 cats. I don't consider myself a lonely person by any means, but social media is an outlet to find company, commiseration, comfort and community, and I won't be ashamed of that.
But that having been said, its not the only outlet that I have, and instead of posting 400 things about every little idea I have, I could consolidate some of it into ONE blog post. OR this could suffice as a way to connect the dots from one post to another during my year of "FUCK YES" (if you missed what thats about, stay tuned. I will explain that in Flave detail in a future spot).
I also have an interesting writing style. I'm not particularly flowery... but I am wordy. But I can also be concise. So... yeah... this will be an interesting way to see, how I start choosing to express my thoughts after some practice. I'm personally a fan of the "inner monologue" style of writing, especially when it comes to blogs like this particular post. Because in this particular instance, I am allowing you to open the door to the fun-house that is my brain, so it only makes sense to write it out the way I think it (and sometimes a little warped like those mirror mazes). Although I'm sure that when I'm trying to be more full of impact or sentimental, I will probably choose my words to be a little more "professional" and less "pedestrian". But the truth is, I'd rather talk to a pedestrian who has honesty and sincerity in their words than someone who constantly spouts off bullshit flowery soapbox-y monologues with buzz words only for effect, with no guts or heart. There are so many people out there concerned with boxing themselves into some marketable version who they think they should be. I call them the "Plastic Prophets." Its so that people will listen... but really, all you have to do is just speak with a genuine voice. No need to convince people to listen, if you're earnest, people will listen anyway. There are millions of blogs and vlogs out there that prove that. Shed the mask, people.
(okay, i get soap box-y too. see last paragraph... haha we're all hypocrites from time to time, I suppose)
Anyway, I'm sure my inner voice will change with my mood, and perhaps I too will have the moments where I feel the need to "preach" if you will. In fact I'm sure of it. But for me this will be more about showing all facets of me. The brawn and the beauty, the clever and the crazy, the strong and the soft. This will not be about boxing me in to market to the world, this will be about expanding the limits of the box I already found myself in to SHOW the world, take it or leave it.
okay enough of that... and bring it back to the beginning (take that, rewind it back mflave got beat that make your booty go smack)
So, lets get down to brass tacks and stop the rambling. I bought this camera device a few years ago. Its like super middle grade equipment, nothing ginormous or overly impressive, but I like it. And I heard a rumor of some kind... that when you take it out of its camera bag, you can pick it up and this camera device actually can be used as a camera to take pictures or some shit. I KNOW RIGHT? I was shocked too! I used it a lot when I first got it, amazed that this camera, could be a camera. ;) Then I took a break-y poo from the idea of camera-ing because while I had a lot of people in my corner. there were a select few who were kind enough to basically be anything but kind. Not of the images themselves, but of me. And while I don't really care what people think generally, I was also in no mood to do battle with people who were hell bent on misunderstanding my intentions. So I took a break. But, soon enough, I brought this camera thingy ma-jigger back out of its padded home... probably about once a week since July. Just to play around, see if it still did the whole "be a camera" thing (it does, btw). Some were pictures of my doggy, or the kids, I even second shot a family shoot with a friend, two bridal showers, and a lot of holiday fun. I didn't really post much of it because I wasn't trying to use it to market anything, I just wanted to camera, and so I camera'd. And I liked camera-ing.
And then a few weeks ago, my neighbor came over to see if her daughter was still cool to hang at the house (the daughter had already been here an hour), and as I gave our neighbor a tour of the house, I took her down to my little cave in the basement and showed her around. Turns out the awesome red chairs I found in the street on bulk trash day were actually theirs! I explained to her that I had swiped them with the intention of using them for a camera thing that never happened. Oddly enough my camera was sitting on the bed and before I knew it she was asking me to take pictures of her, her husband and her (i think) three kids... and I said yes.
It wasn't until about 10 minutes after she left when I had realized what I had done. And I thought to myself "well shit, that was unexpected...". And instead of trying to figure out a way out of it, I was thinking about how to make it happen. Total change of mindset from two years ago.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to take over the world my my camera-ing, but I'm excited about the idea of having a creative outlet. I'm excited that its going to allow me to get to know some more people. I'm excited about having something to look forward to. And the fact that I don't have some giant concrete business plan doesn't entirely make me want to run away screaming, is a sign that I'm ready to take on whatever comes my way.
Maybe I've healed from some of the past hurt enough to move forward (although I'd hate to think I'm so soft that it took me THIS long to recover from something that is so far removed from my life now...), or maybe I'm just happy where I am and am looking to add more of that happy, or maybe I'm an insane person who does silly things sometimes. I don't know. Maybe yes to all those things! I'd like to think its just because I want to add more fun and more happy and more "fuck yes" (or the less vulgar vesion 'why not?') to my life.
Life's hard. Lifes been pretty admittedly (and tragically) upsetting for me over the past few years. I don't play victim. And I'm certainly not blaming the gods or fate or whatever, but while some of it I set myself up for... some of it I definitely didn't. But I guess, what I'm realizing is... that life is hard, but its also short. This past year has shown me that.
I know that I had mentioned this idea before in a previous post and made a big deal about it. Well no, I didn't make a big deal about it, but it was made into a big deal. And that was partially my fault... that was me getting ahead of myself during a time where I couldn't even stand still long enough to drink a glass of water. But now?
(OH and did I mention? that I have a group of like minded photographers that are part of my life? Looking at you, Banana, KK, Jo and Rico. Its nice to have people that are interested in th same things as you creatively. Especially when they are of all skill levels and all different stages in their careers. How lucky am I that we have found each other? Its been great during all these snow days to get online and chat or skype, or go out and shoot and then critique eachother... even if its just for funzies.)
Who knows? Maybe I will stick with it for life, maybe it will be a stepping stone to something else. But either way, it should be fun. And who doesn't like fun.
(As an aside: it also feels really good to know that this fire I have in me right now, is in no way a result of my bi-polar. Because I do I ache. I hurt. I'm tired. I'm stumped. I'm devastated (sometimes). But in the midst of all of that and even separately from that, I feel inspired. And I have for a while. Love will do that. Love inspires so much emotion and passion in all of us. So does the loss of it. Maybe I'm just one of the lucky people who draws positive energy from both situations. Well, right now anyway.. stay tuned.)
So this is basically a post saying, that I am in the "business" of taking pictures. And by that I mean, I have a camera that I'd like to get more use out of, that I'd like to get to know, and that I'd like to take some time to make friends with. And so this is me saying out loud that you're going to be hearing a lot more about it in the future. You may like what I do, you may like me, you may hate what I do, you may hate me. The point is, is that its happening. And lets me honest, if my heart is really into something... the haters are going to be upset. So... ready, go!
Speaking of future... SPOILER ALERT: I will be presenting something about an open call in the near future. so, hold on to your butts (literally, I mean I might ask you to do that... ;) )
Thanks for reading where my brainspace is. My brainspace appreciates it. The next post will be less "back story" and more thought provoking... well, thats the plan anyway. :)
Keep on keepin on and go forth and be awesome,
smooches
~flave
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