Philosophizer!
I started writing a blog a few weeks ago. It talked about a lot of negative stuff that I felt for some reason that I needed to get it off my chest. I didn't post it because a more realistic me realized that more people read this than I probably know, and I didn't want to hurt anyone. I also had the great opportunity to vent about nonsense during the wee hours of the morning last week with two separate people. I think that quenched my immediate need for internet self destruction. :)
So, moving on from that preface... things are great! :) Well, mostly. Of course the things that were bothering me before, are still bothering me to an extent. And of course, there forks in the road that I need to choose a route very soon, and thats a bit stressful, but generally... most of these things are all of MY doing. I choose to react the way that I do, so therefore, I'm accepting responsibility for those and trying to move past it.
I've been giving a lot of thought to relationships, both inside and outside of the normal lately. Romantic, professional, platonic, distant, casual etc.
The other morning, I groggily woke up on the Larkszz couch and found myself incredibly introspective. Knowing my cycles of ups and downs, this was really no surprise to me. Its that time of the year for people "like me" to feel a little off; we start seeing love and families and things of that nature and we wonder "why not us?". Last year at Christmas time I remember being... less than okay. It was my first single Christmas since I started dating, and I was seemingly around all of these happy couples. In fact I remember sitting on the couch watching some dumb girly movie on Xmas eve texting Lark being all sad about life in general. All I needed was a pint of ice cream and running mascara and I could have been a lifetime movie. Life wasn't bad for me, but at the time, it seemed like not having a relationship was my missing piece.
This season, however, I don't really feel that way. Well, okay, part of me does.I wish I had someone that I could take goofy kissy pictures and post as my profile picture. I've never really had that. But there are a lot of other pieces that I am missing this season, that maybe... lessen the blow. Now I know that sounds crazy, because with that kind of math, it'd seem that I'd be MORE miserable this season. But just because I thought I had all my ducks in a row last year, doesn't mean they were the right ducks. Ya get me? I think I have the right ducks now.
I'm not miserable at all. I mean, sure I'd like to have more money, and a consistent snuggle buddy, and a nobel peace prize and an unlimited about of mashed potatoes at my disposal, but over all... things are moving for me, which is more than I can say for myself last year. So I consider 2010 a victory it that sense.
So yea me! But thats not the point of this post at all. I wanted to sort of touch on the idea of unanswered questions. Most of them begin with the word "why". I could go through the plethora of questions that follow that formula... but I won't. We all know what those questions are. We all ask them everyday. Its a human characteristic to ask why. Its the reason a lot of philosophers and theologists have jobs.
I always thought I'd make a great Philosopher, I find myself asking and answering a lot of questions the "great thinkers" of our kind have come across. I mean you had some of those guys who would just pick a fight just to test their own wit (10 life points if you can identify who that was), and a lot of time they just sat and read about history and talked about the arts and what it all meant. People who do that now in this day and age are considered lazy... we think it means that those people have too much time on their hands and no ambition... but back in Socrates day, that "extra" time allowed them to really try and discover human nature at its core, and still none of them ever had it pegged. Because still, we are plagued with never REALLY feeling completely enlightened. The whole idea is fascinating, I love philosophy.
So, then the question begs.. why do we keep asking why? And at what point will we stop?
Its circular. Why do we ask why? and Why do we keep asking why we ask why? And to what end?
I think one flaw that most philosoraptors have (haha the interwebs is funny...), is that many (not all, mind you) but many tried to find an answer that worked for ALL human beings. And I think we've found that no two people are exactly alike, so one answer may not work for another. And to grey the area even further; while the conclusion may be the same, how you got to said conclusion may not be.
I found in all of my studies of philosophy, that really, you have to take a little from all of those great thinkers and find your own customized version of what you consider to be the answer. I personally add a little science, theology and psychology into the pot as well.
So many things that we deal with on a day to day basis lately are so do or die. Its so, definitive. Even in our gov't right now its "my way or the highway... to canada". I just feel like we'd all do a little better to take a little from all sides of the equation and balance it out. Too often people are quick to try and classify something with a definitive answer, when really, there's no need. Who says you can't believe in God AND evolution? Who says you can't be a Socialist and a Republican? Who says you have to love just one person? Who says you have to love at all? Why can't you love the beach AND the mountains? Why not enjoy the hybrid? I mean, I think I believe in a higher power, but I definitely believe in evolution... so where does that put me? I feel like I balance a lot of combination of idea's and philosophies to get me where I am today. Some contradict each other depending on the situation, and I guess thats where adults run into issues; when you're having a dilemma with more than one outcome/solution. But I think was really awesome about it is that we have the ABILITY to have a dilemma. To have more than one choice and feel strongly about both options. There's something pretty poetic about that.
And truthfully, I'd rather have a dilemma like that then walk blindly through life not questioning or digging for "what it all means". I'd much rather have the ability to to pick and choose what works for me to make a really awesome package deal. I'm the all around combo platter I suppose. I guess part of me feels that if I can find the source of something, that will be the icing on the cake. As if understanding why I make the choices I do, will give me great comfort. But its really, a never ending cycle of questions. Which, is... both comforting and confusing.
And to some philosophers, just realizing that you are capable of having multiple feelings about something, made you "enlightened". As if, just knowing that you know that you could know, was enough. And thats fascinating to me. I'm not sure if I am any more enlightened than the next guy... but I do consider myself a bit of a thinker in my own Martha bubble.
I come acrross as impulsive to some, but its really all just good marketing on my part. I like people to think that I am impulsive sometimes. But really, chances are, if I'm doing something, its because I've thought about it at some point in my life, maybe not RECENTLY, but I've definitely given it thought. So, impulsive is a bad word to use, spontaneous might be better because the timing of my shenanigans aren't always so planned.
wow this blog really wandered, didn't it? I guess I'm becoming one of "those" bloggers who does the conscious thought writing style. I'm good with it. Sometimes it just feels good to wander.
You're wonderful, whimsical, wondering philosoraptor,
~mflave
So, moving on from that preface... things are great! :) Well, mostly. Of course the things that were bothering me before, are still bothering me to an extent. And of course, there forks in the road that I need to choose a route very soon, and thats a bit stressful, but generally... most of these things are all of MY doing. I choose to react the way that I do, so therefore, I'm accepting responsibility for those and trying to move past it.
I've been giving a lot of thought to relationships, both inside and outside of the normal lately. Romantic, professional, platonic, distant, casual etc.
The other morning, I groggily woke up on the Larkszz couch and found myself incredibly introspective. Knowing my cycles of ups and downs, this was really no surprise to me. Its that time of the year for people "like me" to feel a little off; we start seeing love and families and things of that nature and we wonder "why not us?". Last year at Christmas time I remember being... less than okay. It was my first single Christmas since I started dating, and I was seemingly around all of these happy couples. In fact I remember sitting on the couch watching some dumb girly movie on Xmas eve texting Lark being all sad about life in general. All I needed was a pint of ice cream and running mascara and I could have been a lifetime movie. Life wasn't bad for me, but at the time, it seemed like not having a relationship was my missing piece.
This season, however, I don't really feel that way. Well, okay, part of me does.I wish I had someone that I could take goofy kissy pictures and post as my profile picture. I've never really had that. But there are a lot of other pieces that I am missing this season, that maybe... lessen the blow. Now I know that sounds crazy, because with that kind of math, it'd seem that I'd be MORE miserable this season. But just because I thought I had all my ducks in a row last year, doesn't mean they were the right ducks. Ya get me? I think I have the right ducks now.
I'm not miserable at all. I mean, sure I'd like to have more money, and a consistent snuggle buddy, and a nobel peace prize and an unlimited about of mashed potatoes at my disposal, but over all... things are moving for me, which is more than I can say for myself last year. So I consider 2010 a victory it that sense.
So yea me! But thats not the point of this post at all. I wanted to sort of touch on the idea of unanswered questions. Most of them begin with the word "why". I could go through the plethora of questions that follow that formula... but I won't. We all know what those questions are. We all ask them everyday. Its a human characteristic to ask why. Its the reason a lot of philosophers and theologists have jobs.
I always thought I'd make a great Philosopher, I find myself asking and answering a lot of questions the "great thinkers" of our kind have come across. I mean you had some of those guys who would just pick a fight just to test their own wit (10 life points if you can identify who that was), and a lot of time they just sat and read about history and talked about the arts and what it all meant. People who do that now in this day and age are considered lazy... we think it means that those people have too much time on their hands and no ambition... but back in Socrates day, that "extra" time allowed them to really try and discover human nature at its core, and still none of them ever had it pegged. Because still, we are plagued with never REALLY feeling completely enlightened. The whole idea is fascinating, I love philosophy.
So, then the question begs.. why do we keep asking why? And at what point will we stop?
Its circular. Why do we ask why? and Why do we keep asking why we ask why? And to what end?
I think one flaw that most philosoraptors have (haha the interwebs is funny...), is that many (not all, mind you) but many tried to find an answer that worked for ALL human beings. And I think we've found that no two people are exactly alike, so one answer may not work for another. And to grey the area even further; while the conclusion may be the same, how you got to said conclusion may not be.
I found in all of my studies of philosophy, that really, you have to take a little from all of those great thinkers and find your own customized version of what you consider to be the answer. I personally add a little science, theology and psychology into the pot as well.
So many things that we deal with on a day to day basis lately are so do or die. Its so, definitive. Even in our gov't right now its "my way or the highway... to canada". I just feel like we'd all do a little better to take a little from all sides of the equation and balance it out. Too often people are quick to try and classify something with a definitive answer, when really, there's no need. Who says you can't believe in God AND evolution? Who says you can't be a Socialist and a Republican? Who says you have to love just one person? Who says you have to love at all? Why can't you love the beach AND the mountains? Why not enjoy the hybrid? I mean, I think I believe in a higher power, but I definitely believe in evolution... so where does that put me? I feel like I balance a lot of combination of idea's and philosophies to get me where I am today. Some contradict each other depending on the situation, and I guess thats where adults run into issues; when you're having a dilemma with more than one outcome/solution. But I think was really awesome about it is that we have the ABILITY to have a dilemma. To have more than one choice and feel strongly about both options. There's something pretty poetic about that.
And truthfully, I'd rather have a dilemma like that then walk blindly through life not questioning or digging for "what it all means". I'd much rather have the ability to to pick and choose what works for me to make a really awesome package deal. I'm the all around combo platter I suppose. I guess part of me feels that if I can find the source of something, that will be the icing on the cake. As if understanding why I make the choices I do, will give me great comfort. But its really, a never ending cycle of questions. Which, is... both comforting and confusing.
And to some philosophers, just realizing that you are capable of having multiple feelings about something, made you "enlightened". As if, just knowing that you know that you could know, was enough. And thats fascinating to me. I'm not sure if I am any more enlightened than the next guy... but I do consider myself a bit of a thinker in my own Martha bubble.
I come acrross as impulsive to some, but its really all just good marketing on my part. I like people to think that I am impulsive sometimes. But really, chances are, if I'm doing something, its because I've thought about it at some point in my life, maybe not RECENTLY, but I've definitely given it thought. So, impulsive is a bad word to use, spontaneous might be better because the timing of my shenanigans aren't always so planned.
wow this blog really wandered, didn't it? I guess I'm becoming one of "those" bloggers who does the conscious thought writing style. I'm good with it. Sometimes it just feels good to wander.
You're wonderful, whimsical, wondering philosoraptor,
~mflave
You had me at mashed potatoes. Keep thinking.
ReplyDelete