slightly pretentious? Probably...
Yes, Blogging already. I think its sort of like having a new shiny toy when you're three, you want to play with it right there and then, or like when you buy a new outfit, or rock a new hairstyle, the first thing you want to do is go show it off. So to show my truly nerdy side, my new shiny toy is this blog and I shall abuse it to my hearts content.
(and to be fair, my earlier post I actually wrote LAST night... so... don't judge. okay, you can judge a little.)
So today, I took on the task of cleaning the studio. Which, normally is not a terribly daunting task, but today, for some reason it is. I could blame the fact that was up until 4am (yes even wth the time change) hanging out with some friends and then watching movies, or I could blame that I'm lazy. But in actuality, its because sometimes, cleaning is just HARD. It can be really physically demanding if you do it right. Hey, listen men, I know you don't believe me, but YOU try scrubbing bathroom floors on your hands an knees with a sponge (remove the dirty image from your heads, fellas). Its exhausting. In addition, this is technically a 4 bedroom house, with kitchen, living room, 2 enclosed porches, and 2 bathrooms. And its just me. Now granted, I am lucky because most of the studio stays relatively spotless due to the nature of it being the studio. But I decided to dig in a little today and see how far I could get before I started going crazy (read: all work and no play makes martha crazygonuts)
I cleaned the downstairs. And I KNOW its not as clean as it could be, I didn't do the windows, or clean the toys in the kids room. But I did mop every where and get rid of as many dust bunnies as possible. Feeling pretty confident about my progress I take my fuzzy slipper-ed self upstairs and say "self, I will clean my personal bathroom, and I will organize the closets in the now empty room, and then when I'm done, try and organize the dressing room". Oh silly self, you've got jokes. I did clean the bathroom, and I did finish up ONE of the 3 closets I wanted to get to today. But uhh, then progress stopped.
Its not that I stopped... in fact, I have been moving things around for the past hour in an effort to get to a place where I can start my next cleaning project. Because I get side tracked (ohh shiny!)... orrrrr... one project always leads to another project that I have to do before I start the thing I started doing in the first place. Its ridiculous. And then of course, things just look even worse than when you started. Because instead of things being in their own little corner of closets, they are now in piles on the floor, next to trash bags and miscellaneous crap that you didn't even know you had in the first place, and thusly have NO clue what to do with. This is disheartening as best.
I suppose there is a little bit of a life lesson in that. Things tend to get worse before they get better. I mean there are exceptions of course, like chocolate, there is rarely wrong in that. But when it comes to life stuff, and there's complications, it always seems to get messier before it gets clean again. I mean think about it, when a crisis happens, it opens up all of your closets and you start to examine all the things you forgot you had, all of the things you put away for a reason; either because it was old, or unnecessary, or because its just a memory. And then you pull all of that crap out, and all you have is just stuff in front of you that you have to sort through piece by piece, and then touch it, and organize it, and figure out if you still want it or not. Sometimes, all you can do is just sit in your messy situation and go "well shit".
Stepping out of the analogy for a second, usually the easiest way for me to finish cleaning is to make a to do list. That way I don't forget the method of my madness. Which is what I really need to do now because all I see is manikin parts, old bamboo, shoes that don't match, a decanter set from Iraq, tons of Spanish moss, and a closet spilling out with stuff I didn't know we had. So I suppose making a list of things I want to get done tonight, might ease my mini "overwhelmed" mode that I've found myself in.
In real life situations though, theres no to do list. Mostly because its not tangible and you can't actually categorize anything except emotions. I mean sure there are things you can do, depending on the situation to help push you out of your rut, or your chaos, but most of the tme, the thing that is the messy part is... well, its you. And its usually self inflicted and self perpetuating.
I have no tips or advice for this other than to surround yourself with awesome people, and let yourself feel what you feel. Denying yourself to feel what you feel is really, only going to make things worse.
Yeah. Not especially great advice I know. I'm not super helpful on the lfe game. Mostly cuz I consider myself a hot mess 98% of the time. Now the good thing about that, is that I know myself pretty well. I know why I react to things the way that I do, and in general I can tell you exactly how I'm feeling. I chop this up to all of my failed school experiences, giving me a LOT of down time to figure out how I tick. Now the catch 22 with that is, I'm constantly changing, but I recognize that and generally, try and take things as they come. My new philosophy is humor. Lately, the life game has been pretty funny to me. And I have to tell you, I sleep better at night (except for this like snotty, coughy death thing I got going on... its so awesome. /sarcasm). I think the fact that I know I don't have it all figured out, has actually allowed myself to react to things a little more honestly, instead of how I'm "supposed" to. I hate little boxes. I try not to live in them (unless its a fort. box forts are AWESOME)!
So thats long winded, and stuff. good work, flave.
Anyway, I am sitting on the floor of the old forgotten room and listening to my happy mix. I began to chuckle because I put it on the section that I listened to a lot when we were rennovating the studio. And the thought crossed my mind that it was almost 9 months ago that I was doing this exact same thing in this exact same room. But, this time, I'm doing it alone. There's no one here to laugh at me when I stabbed myself in the face with a wire hanger, and there's no one here to rock out to Lady Gaga with me and laugh at me because I rocked out so hard i fell down the stairs (true story jess, it hurt like mad). But really, I'm cleaning the forgotten room, just like I was about 8 months ago. And I'm sick, just as I was 8 moths ago. I'd also like to mention, that a lot of the ideas that we were talking about 8 months ago for the studio, are starting to resurface (no, people... no examples for you. you're just gonna have to wait and see). So I guess, in that way, everything sort of comes full circle, or at least, revists itself.
I call this the burrito theory. Ya know how you wrap that tortilla around and it touches itself on the other side... yes...? yes...? no...? bueller? whatever. Deny it or not, a burrito does that. And so does life.
Side note: falling down the stairs hurts. I don't recommend it. Its instances like that that cause me to wish I didn't live alone. What would of happened if I really hurt myself? no one would know for DAYS. The smell would totally go unnoticed because, well, its Reading.
As you can tell, I've been feeling very long winded. I promise it won't always be like this. I guess me being psuedo quarantined to my house with sicknes and cleaning has me mulling around my head a bit more.
Marthas tip of the day? clean your house. Both metaphorically and otherwise. It may make you sore, and make your brain hurt, but sometimes its a good hurt.
peace out girl scout,
~flave
(and to be fair, my earlier post I actually wrote LAST night... so... don't judge. okay, you can judge a little.)
So today, I took on the task of cleaning the studio. Which, normally is not a terribly daunting task, but today, for some reason it is. I could blame the fact that was up until 4am (yes even wth the time change) hanging out with some friends and then watching movies, or I could blame that I'm lazy. But in actuality, its because sometimes, cleaning is just HARD. It can be really physically demanding if you do it right. Hey, listen men, I know you don't believe me, but YOU try scrubbing bathroom floors on your hands an knees with a sponge (remove the dirty image from your heads, fellas). Its exhausting. In addition, this is technically a 4 bedroom house, with kitchen, living room, 2 enclosed porches, and 2 bathrooms. And its just me. Now granted, I am lucky because most of the studio stays relatively spotless due to the nature of it being the studio. But I decided to dig in a little today and see how far I could get before I started going crazy (read: all work and no play makes martha crazygonuts)
I cleaned the downstairs. And I KNOW its not as clean as it could be, I didn't do the windows, or clean the toys in the kids room. But I did mop every where and get rid of as many dust bunnies as possible. Feeling pretty confident about my progress I take my fuzzy slipper-ed self upstairs and say "self, I will clean my personal bathroom, and I will organize the closets in the now empty room, and then when I'm done, try and organize the dressing room". Oh silly self, you've got jokes. I did clean the bathroom, and I did finish up ONE of the 3 closets I wanted to get to today. But uhh, then progress stopped.
Its not that I stopped... in fact, I have been moving things around for the past hour in an effort to get to a place where I can start my next cleaning project. Because I get side tracked (ohh shiny!)... orrrrr... one project always leads to another project that I have to do before I start the thing I started doing in the first place. Its ridiculous. And then of course, things just look even worse than when you started. Because instead of things being in their own little corner of closets, they are now in piles on the floor, next to trash bags and miscellaneous crap that you didn't even know you had in the first place, and thusly have NO clue what to do with. This is disheartening as best.
I suppose there is a little bit of a life lesson in that. Things tend to get worse before they get better. I mean there are exceptions of course, like chocolate, there is rarely wrong in that. But when it comes to life stuff, and there's complications, it always seems to get messier before it gets clean again. I mean think about it, when a crisis happens, it opens up all of your closets and you start to examine all the things you forgot you had, all of the things you put away for a reason; either because it was old, or unnecessary, or because its just a memory. And then you pull all of that crap out, and all you have is just stuff in front of you that you have to sort through piece by piece, and then touch it, and organize it, and figure out if you still want it or not. Sometimes, all you can do is just sit in your messy situation and go "well shit".
Stepping out of the analogy for a second, usually the easiest way for me to finish cleaning is to make a to do list. That way I don't forget the method of my madness. Which is what I really need to do now because all I see is manikin parts, old bamboo, shoes that don't match, a decanter set from Iraq, tons of Spanish moss, and a closet spilling out with stuff I didn't know we had. So I suppose making a list of things I want to get done tonight, might ease my mini "overwhelmed" mode that I've found myself in.
In real life situations though, theres no to do list. Mostly because its not tangible and you can't actually categorize anything except emotions. I mean sure there are things you can do, depending on the situation to help push you out of your rut, or your chaos, but most of the tme, the thing that is the messy part is... well, its you. And its usually self inflicted and self perpetuating.
I have no tips or advice for this other than to surround yourself with awesome people, and let yourself feel what you feel. Denying yourself to feel what you feel is really, only going to make things worse.
Yeah. Not especially great advice I know. I'm not super helpful on the lfe game. Mostly cuz I consider myself a hot mess 98% of the time. Now the good thing about that, is that I know myself pretty well. I know why I react to things the way that I do, and in general I can tell you exactly how I'm feeling. I chop this up to all of my failed school experiences, giving me a LOT of down time to figure out how I tick. Now the catch 22 with that is, I'm constantly changing, but I recognize that and generally, try and take things as they come. My new philosophy is humor. Lately, the life game has been pretty funny to me. And I have to tell you, I sleep better at night (except for this like snotty, coughy death thing I got going on... its so awesome. /sarcasm). I think the fact that I know I don't have it all figured out, has actually allowed myself to react to things a little more honestly, instead of how I'm "supposed" to. I hate little boxes. I try not to live in them (unless its a fort. box forts are AWESOME)!
So thats long winded, and stuff. good work, flave.
Anyway, I am sitting on the floor of the old forgotten room and listening to my happy mix. I began to chuckle because I put it on the section that I listened to a lot when we were rennovating the studio. And the thought crossed my mind that it was almost 9 months ago that I was doing this exact same thing in this exact same room. But, this time, I'm doing it alone. There's no one here to laugh at me when I stabbed myself in the face with a wire hanger, and there's no one here to rock out to Lady Gaga with me and laugh at me because I rocked out so hard i fell down the stairs (true story jess, it hurt like mad). But really, I'm cleaning the forgotten room, just like I was about 8 months ago. And I'm sick, just as I was 8 moths ago. I'd also like to mention, that a lot of the ideas that we were talking about 8 months ago for the studio, are starting to resurface (no, people... no examples for you. you're just gonna have to wait and see). So I guess, in that way, everything sort of comes full circle, or at least, revists itself.
I call this the burrito theory. Ya know how you wrap that tortilla around and it touches itself on the other side... yes...? yes...? no...? bueller? whatever. Deny it or not, a burrito does that. And so does life.
Side note: falling down the stairs hurts. I don't recommend it. Its instances like that that cause me to wish I didn't live alone. What would of happened if I really hurt myself? no one would know for DAYS. The smell would totally go unnoticed because, well, its Reading.
As you can tell, I've been feeling very long winded. I promise it won't always be like this. I guess me being psuedo quarantined to my house with sicknes and cleaning has me mulling around my head a bit more.
Marthas tip of the day? clean your house. Both metaphorically and otherwise. It may make you sore, and make your brain hurt, but sometimes its a good hurt.
peace out girl scout,
~flave
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